Fading star...

A few days ago, the staff from Taylor's College called. She told me that I was shortlisted, and asked me to come for the interview next Thursday. At first, I was happy, glad, and delighted. But the joyful atmosphere was soon broken by worries.

Turned nervous, and freaked out! This could be my last chance. I must do my best! Maybe this is it, it means a lot to me and thus, I'm so concern about it. That is why I was so worried.

Met an old friend, talked, and found out that she, too, applied the same scholarship as I did. She went for interview few days ago, and I asked her about it. She said that I should just be myself, and stay natural. Well, it's nice to know that, she's grown up a little more. She used to be the kind of nervous person, and tended to worry more. And now, she's confident of herself.

What about me? I used to be confident, and worry nothing. I used to get thru anything fine. What's happening to me? I'm noticing that, I, myself, is somehow, changing. More like evolving though. Freaky. My patience aren't as before. My temper. My behaviour. I'm, turning into someone else.... I don't feel like me...

For once, I learned to be happy. I've been happier, in fact, the happiest I could ever be. But the older I grow, the more time has numbed my heart and energy. I think I've lost an energy under my possession. I'm starting to feel tired... I don't know if I will have the energy to walk or even simply smile... I've learned to happy, but why am I crying more often now? Tears, the only friend that understands me...

I might over-worried this, but, this is clearly another symptom! I don't worry, well, used to, and now I'm doing it! Am I just feeling something different? Am I going thru a phase? Am I growing? Or am I fading? I'm starting to miss myself... And this doesn't sounds good...

In my life, I feel everything, every little tiny subtle object, atmosphere, anything~ I feel everything and like to feel it. I am happy that I can have all this feelings, they're special. These feelings are sensitive. And I hope I'm just feeling another subtle object, and not evolving... This is just not familiar...

But now, I must tell myself to stand straight. I must be calm, and be confident. Ever since I left school, I started feeling myself as another person. But now, I must summon myself, back to the original. Shouldn't never let the pirated version get me! Haha! I must stay natural~ I'm a happy elf~ : )

I guess no matter how exhausted we are with life, or when you feel like a worn-out leather, we should at least smile, and keep moving forward. Tears would tell great stories, in fact, magnificent stories. Tears that accompany us walking our lives could never be neglected. But we shouldn't forget smiling too.

Life's a malicious, cunning old witch that's trying to steal our spirit. We should never forget ourselves. No matter what things could be, we must remember ourselves for who we are~ Never lost ourselves~

This fading star will someday shine with great hopes and dreams~