-- Just a day --

Still staying up at this time, 3 a.m. As usual, sleeping late, had instant noodle after 11.30p.m. Seems like a habit, and doesn't sound like a pleasant one.

Well, today's 28 June. No more 27~

Birthday? Sounds like just an ordinary day to me. As usual, no celebration, no present, but there's still plain greetings. That's enough. Perhaps, more than enough for me. Woke up 10.30 yesterday, went out and get something. Slept again after getting home. Skipped lunch, woke up on 3.

Went out for dinner with mom a little earlier since there wasn't lunch. We passed by the shop, and she asked me if I want any cake. I said "no".

Wasn't feeling good for one that moment. Well, every year there hasn't been any celebration. It seems a little odd if there IS celebration. I think I'm used to being alone. Just wanted to be alone, and wanted nobody to be in the house. Just me~ Didn't purposely ask for friends to hang out. They're tired after the school activity, and I didn't mind it, at all. Not feeling anything.

Was feeling bland, as often and usual. Didn't even have an actual dinner with my family yesterday. Was rushing to a full dress rehearsal of the 7.11 performance. People greeted me when they know it's my birthday. Paid back with a smile from me. That's all. Seemed like there wasn't any reason to be cheerful, nor be sorrowful of course. Was just, normal, bland...

Got a present though, before going back to home. And, mom asked if I was happy getting a present. And I said "It's normal, not too happy, just normal..." Well, it's just a normal day after all~ Sat in front of the desktop.... tick... tock... It's after 12, no more 27 it is... Another day just gone by~ Or somehow drifted by~ Well, you see... Time flows, and the future, it'll crawl nearer... Listening to the country, and in the brain others' no entry~ Well~ watch as the day unfold~ It's another day~

Hhmmm... Turning 18? What's the difference? Doesn't feel any difference occurring... No unique feelings, no special thought, and when people ask what I wished for, since everyone wishes on their birthday. But, I didn't, couldn't even tell what's the wish on my mind. Just simply joke it over~ Well, all these years, I've learnt to be a crybaby a little more often, sometimes being cruel, not afraid of the dark anymore, sometimes even fiercer.... Used to being alone, but still afraid of coldness... However, those feelings are fading, those old and fancy ones. Not just into thin air, but into the dynamic cosmo.... Those special ones.... Well, 18, a new starting point, guess I'll have to grab myself a painter, and paint my feelings back again~ It's on my hand now....

Used to being alone, still. Sometimes alone doesn't really mean lonely. There isn't an equal sign to it. Maybe I'm thinking this way coz I'm used to it... Using an afternoon just to sit or lie on a bed or a sofa, hear no one's voice, sight no one's shadow, just me and myself and the little cozy noon~ The motivation wasn't there, not anymore.... Wasn't much feeling to hang out or whatever... Just wanna stay put thinking nothingness... And that little "Sunday afternoon" is still my favourite~ At the end, the day's just tied together with a smile : ] Not a wide one though, just an ordinary one~